Hey, mau here.

If you read my last email, you might've seen that I spontaneously booked a place in Bali at 1:12 in the morning...

And ngl – the next 3 days I woke up shitting my pants.

My mind racing:

Am I really going to Bali?" "Why did I book this so fast?" "Why did I just blast this to over 500 people and post it on my story?" "Do I even want to go?" "Is this a good idea?" "Will this work out?" "What if I don't like it?" "I don't even really want to leave Austin..." "I have friends here..." "Why am I so impulsive?" "What if I back out, what are people going to think?" "Am I really going to give up this incredible place I live in?"

Literally, these are just 1% of all the thoughts in my mind...

And last week, a friend asked me something that's been playing in my head:

When following your inner voice, how do you differentiate if it's your intuition, ego, or fear?

And that stuck with me. Because the past few days, I've been battling with this myself.

What is truly telling me to go to Bali? Are the signs that I'm seeing real, or is it just my ego giving me confirmation bias?

Why am I having thoughts of not going? Is that my intuition? Or is that just fear?

You see, when you decide to fully trust in life. To surrender. To follow your inner voice... there is no CLEAR signs that literally say:

Yes. This is exactly what you need to do. And it will work out exactly the way you are imagining.

The reality is... there is NO certainty. If you are waiting for things to be certain, you will be waiting forever...

This is where discernment comes in.

Discernment is being able to differentiate between what's real and not real. It's being able to tune in to YOUR truth. To what feels right for YOU.

Nobody will be able to give you this answer. Only you can.

And in such a noisy world, it's so important for you to have discernment.

So, how do you discern?

Something I ask when I'm facing huge, scary, uncertain, decisions like this...

What is the deepest part of my heart saying?

You see, your heart only speaks in YES or NO.

There is no "reasoning" involved. Reasoning only happens in the mind.

This is why sometimes you'll get an idea, get SUPER excited about it... and then you either tell other people who tell you why it's not "smart", or you start to "think" about all the reasons it's not "practical"...

And before you know it, you convince yourself it's dumb. And that spark of inspiration gets buried in "idea graveyard" forever.

In these moments... your job is to stop. Like, really stop. Slow down.

Sit in pure stillness and feel what your body is saying – NOT your mind.

Is it a FUCK YES? OR is it a NO?

And if you still can't get clear... here's a truth:

Sometimes the NO is louder than the YES.

Because fear, uncertainty, and judgement can cloud the YES.

So when you stop to ask yourself if you should do something...

Sit and feel into making BOTH decisions.

In my example:

I sit down and and imagine myself going to Bali. How does it feel? Is it exciting? Is it expansive? What emotions come up? Is it a FUCK YES? Is it a "yes BUT I'm scared", etc?

Literally just picture yourself there and tune into how it feels in your gut.

Then, I do the opposite:

I imagine myself NOT going. I literally put myself in the future, still here in Austin. Still living here. Although now, with a roommate (because that's the reality of the situation here). Now I tune into how THAT feels... Is it expansive? Is it restrictive? Does it feel right? Does it feel wrong? Does it feel like I'm making that decision out of fear? Out of wanting to hang on to what's known and comfortable? Or does it genuinely feel right?

And most of the time, there is something deep inside of me, beyond the fears, beyond the doubts, beyond the certainty, beyond the comfort... that tells me no – this is not the right path.

And since the path I'm imagining (going to Bali) is the ONLY other option... (Because when I imagine instead going somewhere else like Mexico, Costa Rica, etc – it ALSO feels like a no...) Then regardless of ALL the uncertainty around it...

It somehow feels right.

Every time i've done this in the past – from moving to Colombia, Mexico, to leaving the LOML in Argentina, to Barcelona, back to Austin, etc. etc. has led me exactly to where I am right NOW.

...It literally has NOT failed me once.

And the truth is, nobody can discern or tell you what's right or wrong, but you.

When making these life altering decisions... you will never have a CLEAR YES telling you exactly what you want to hear...

BUT. You WILL have clues...

Small ones. Signs. If you're open to them.

And that is all that you can really base your decision off of:

1) How it feels inside your BODY

2) The meaning that you give the signs you see.

And lastly, 3) The past experiences you've had of following this voice, despite being scared.

And the more you can develop this skill of discerning between ego, fear, and truth..

The more life will continue to surprise you

So yes... don't get it twisted.

I've been chewing over this decision. A lot. I've been praying. I've been open, looking for God to show me the way.

Because despite how it may seem, leaving people you love and diving into the unknown is ALWAYS fucking scary.

But...

On this path is where I've continuously found the greatest joy, love, and fulfillment.

And so will you.

Much love

mau
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